Here's a riddle; what is it at the JNM that gets bigger every year? I'll give you a clue - it's not my salary! No, it's Ed's waistline.
Although he won't admit it, Ed has been fighting a battle with his bulge for years and the winners, on points, have been the cream buns and jam doughnuts!
A while back he tried signing up with 'Waist Disposal', a slimming club run by Tracy Trimbody, but in the end, even she gave-up on the challenge.
As she told me, 'Ed will do almost anything to lose weight - except take more exercise and eat less food!'
That's why he sat up and took notice when I pointed out a story in last week's paper.
'There are a group of scientists here,' I told him, 'who guarantee that you'll lose weight - and you don't have to move a muscle!'
'I suppose that includes the ones in your jaw,' replied Ed scornfully. 'If those diets don't involve daily visits to the gym, they rely on lettuce leaves and carrot juice!'
'Nope!' I said, 'With this system you can eat what you like. Mind you it’s expensive. It costs £2,000 a time.'
Ed frowned at that. 'How long does the treatment last,' he asked, doubtfully.
'About thirty seconds!' I answered with a grin and went on to explain. 'They take you up high in a converted jumbo-jet.
Then they dive like crazy and when the plane pulls-up it creates weightless conditions in the cabin! It's like being in zero-gravity, so you weigh nothing….!'
'…but remain the same size,' concluded Ed, disappointedly. 'No thanks, if it comes to diving, I’ll stick with the belly flop!’
See you soon