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Junior’s Journal - 13th May, 2003

More ramblings from our JNM office junior:-

Hello Chums,

Here's a riddle; what is it at the JNM that gets bigger every year? I'll give you a clue - it's not my salary! No, it's Ed's waistline.

Although he won't admit it, Ed has been fighting a battle with his bulge for years and the winners, on points, have been the cream buns and jam doughnuts!

A while back he tried signing up with 'Waist Disposal', a slimming club run by Tracy Trimbody, but in the end, even she gave-up on the challenge.

As she told me, 'Ed will do almost anything to lose weight - except take more exercise and eat less food!'

That's why he sat up and took notice when I pointed out a story in last week's paper.

'There are a group of scientists here,' I told him, 'who guarantee that you'll lose weight - and you don't have to move a muscle!'

'I suppose that includes the ones in your jaw,' replied Ed scornfully. 'If those diets don't involve daily visits to the gym, they rely on lettuce leaves and carrot juice!'

'Nope!' I said, 'With this system you can eat what you like. Mind you it’s expensive. It costs £2,000 a time.'

Ed frowned at that. 'How long does the treatment last,' he asked, doubtfully.

'About thirty seconds!' I answered with a grin and went on to explain. 'They take you up high in a converted jumbo-jet.

Then they dive like crazy and when the plane pulls-up it creates weightless conditions in the cabin! It's like being in zero-gravity, so you weigh nothing….!'

'…but remain the same size,' concluded Ed, disappointedly. 'No thanks, if it comes to diving, I’ll stick with the belly flop!’

See you soon

Luv Junior


Charlotte Neal
Chief Reporter (Aldershot)
Joshua Smith
Farnborough Reporter
Jon Couch
Sport Editor
Stephen Lloyd
Fleet & Yateley Reporter
Ros Collins
Junior News & Mail
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