When the Grumbly Bottom Cycling Club met a few weeks ago, Dave turned-up, as usual, on his battered old bike with the flaking frame and rusting rims.
Dave comes from a big family and his parents can't afford to buy new bikes, so Dave had a hand-me-down and, after years of use, it was looking a bit the worse for wear.
The rest of us never mentioned its tired tyres or sad saddle but Neville Slump, the ol' bighead, was always poking fun and comparing it with the expensive mountain bike his parents had provided.
We all met-up at Neville's place before we set off on our ride and as soon as the little creep spotted Dave's cycle propped-up in front of his house, he started.
'You can't leave that there,' he sneered, 'the rust might spread into our gate! Oh, wow! Just look at this thing! If the wheels were bent any more you'd be able to turn corners without moving the handlebars! Let's see - if they aren't too rusty to go round!' and he gave the bike a push, so that it wobbled off across the lawn and onto the drive where it squeaked to a halt and toppled over onto its side with a crash.
'Oh dear!' exclaimed Neville, in mock concern, 'I'd better get a broom and sweep it up!'
But he didn't have time, cos at that moment his dad backed the car out of the garage and ran right over it!
The insurance bought Dave a brand new bike and paid for straightening out the dents in Mr Slump's car. And Neville had his pocket money stopped for six months to pay for the increase in his dad's insurance bill!
See you soon,