The Reverend Newt-Skinner is chairman of the Grumbly Bottom Firework Fiesta.
'This year,' he announced, 'I'm allowing absolutely no bangers. Last year, Spotty Mulligan and his friends scared everyone silly letting them off just as the Mayor was making his speech. His ceremonial hat ended up in the bonfire! So, I've asked PC Andy Cuff to check everyone to make sure they aren't carrying anything suspicious.’
Well, the big night arrived and PC Cuff was kept busy bagging bangers as Spotty and his friends tried to sneak them into the roped-off area around the bonfire. Then, just when the canny constable thought he'd frisked all the likely customers, Dave sauntered up carrying a large box under his arm.
'Hello, hello, hello,' said PC Cuff, predictably, 'what've we got 'ere?'
'They're bangers!' replied Dave cheerily. 'The chap in the shop said they're really hot stuff. He reckons I'll have them "jumping out of their skins!" '
'Did 'e indeed?' said our guardian of the law, taken aback at Dave's admission.
'Oh yes,' continued Dave, ' "light up and stand back" he said! "The sparks'll fly when this lot get going!"
'Right!' exclaimed PC Cuff, taking hold of Dave's collar, 'you can come-alonga-me and tell that story to the vicar!'
'I'm surprised at you,' scolded the ancient clergyman, when PC Cuff had related Dave's confession. 'I didn't think you were the lad to be cooking up trouble.'
'I'm not,' protested Dave, 'The bangers in that box are sausages! I'm cooking up the barbecue!'
See you soon