The news story about Harry Potter fans studying witchcraft, reminded Ed about his days in the SAS, the 'Sausages And Sandwiches division of the Catering Corps.
'We were out in Wotchagotcha, camping beside the Bringalongabun River,' began Ed, 'when the Colonel went down with food poisoning.
'"How can I tell the Medical Officer at HQ that it's something I ate?" he pleaded, "I'm a Commanding Officer in the Catering Corps. - I'll be a laughing stock!"
'It's either him or the witch doctor in the local village,' I replied, and, after only a moments hesitation, the Colonel asked me to paddle him upriver to the village!
'When we arrived at the edge of the jungle we were met by a strange figure. He was dressed all in monkey skins and was wearing a hideous mask, with yellow eyes and a mass of green, straw-like hair. He danced all round the CO, shaking a pole hung with bleached bones and wailing in a high-pitched voice. Then he indicated that the Colonel was to stay where he was and beckoned me inside his hut.
'Big bossman, him eat bad-grub,' I began, 'give him jippy-tummy….'
'"Jolly embarrassing for a CO in the Catering Corps.!" replied the witch doctor, taking off his mask, "I'll put him on a course of antibiotics right away!"
'I know you!' I exclaimed, 'you're not a witch doctor - you're the Medical Officer from HQ!'
'"That's right!" replied the doctor, "I saw you coming and popped on the outfit for a joke. I'm here to treat the witch doctor for a spot of lumbago! Wait till I get back to HQ and tell them about your Colonel!"
'So, in the end,' grinned Ed, 'it wouldn't have mattered 'which' doctor he chose!'
See you soon