Here's a story, I told Hamish, 'about a scientist who's invented a matter transporter! You know, like on Star Trek - "Beam me up Scotty!" He sent a beam of light from one side of his lab to the other.'
Och,' scoffed Hamish, 'I can do that by turning on ma torch, d'y'ken! Now, the mon who really invented the matter transporter was ma uncle, Fingal McCrab! He bet a fellow drinker in the Fiddler's Elbow pub, five-hundred poonds that he could transport himself fray a piece o' equipment on the battlements o' Castle Prune down tay a receiver in the courtyard.
'Since I've never heard of him,' I said, 'I assume he failed and lost his money?'
'Not at all,' replied Hamish, 'he won the cash but the secret o' his invention was lost forever.
'It was like this,' he continued. 'Fingal's invention was all glass and steel and looked a little like two telephone boxes. On the morning o' the experiment he was in the half perched high on one o' the castle turrets.
As the old clock in the tower struck noon, he pushed the button that sent power in tay the circuits but, at the same moment, the vibrations from the clock's bell toppled the transporter over the edge o' the turret wall and it fell sixty feet to the courtyard below! It landed right on top o' the receiver and smashed everything tay pieces - including poor Fingal!'
'So nobody knows if it would have worked or not,' I pointed out.
'Mebbe, but Fingal had bet he would transport himself fray one piece o' equipment tay the other, and so he did!
See you soon Luv Junior