Hello Chums,

Did you see that story about a clergyman, who had his car nicked with his dog asleep on the back seat? Well, Hamish said that his Texan uncle, Hiram J Porkbender III, once had a similar experience.

Hiram was taking his pet, Gus, to the local vet, cos he'd noticed that he wasn't wagging his tail like he usually did, when he was fed.

On the way he called into a filling station for some gas. In America they call petrol, gas, which I think is a bit daft. After all, petrol is liquid but gas is like air, isn't it? 'You can't fill up a tank with air', I told Hamish, but he said, nonsense, every empty tank was full of air, so there.

Anyway, it was whilst Hiram was paying at the kiosk that someone drove off with his car! The garage attendant shouted and waved his arms but Hiram didn't seem at all concerned. 'He won't get far,' he said and then he just picked up his receipt and strolled down the road in the direction his car had disappeared!

Sure enough, about a hundred yards further on he discovered the vehicle, abandoned, with Gus still on the back seat.

'Why was he so sure there was nothing to worry about?' I asked Hamish.

'He knew that as soon as the thief spotted Gus, he'd leg it to avoid being bitten.'

'Fierce looking dog, was he?' I suggested.

'Didn't I mention?' replied Hamish, with a smile, 'Hiram's pet wasn't a dog - it was a rattlesnake!'

See you soon Luv Junior