'Did you see that story about the American army inventing a sandwich that lasts for three years?'
I asked Ed.
'All sandwiches last for three years,' replied my boss and, seeing the puzzled look on my face,
he added, 'mind you, whether you'd want to eat them after that long is another matter!
'Anyway,' he continued, peering out of his office window at the Mucky Axle Transport Cafe
on the other side of the road, 'old Mr Spoon over at the caff wouldn't find that surprising.
There's a cheese and pickle roll on his counter that's been there since 1998 to my certain knowledge!'
'That roll's just for display,' I retorted. 'It's made out of plaster - I know cos I tapped it the other day!'
'No, it's real enough,' insisted Ed. 'Only last week I saw a chap drop a Chelsea bun and break
one of the floor tiles!'
'Mmm, the food is a bit rugged,' I admitted, 'but then, so are the customers! That's why the
sandwiches are so old. Those truck drivers don't buy ready-cut with a slice of cucumber.
The average breakfast on Mr Spoon's menu is six fried eggs, ten rashers of bacon, a pound of sausages and half-a-loaf of fried bread - and that's just the kiddies portion!'
'All smothered in sauce and washed down with a couple of pints of tea,' added Ed.
loaded with sugar! Delia Smith would have nightmare's if she visited the Mucky Axle.'
'That's nothing compared to what she'd have if she actually ate any of the food!' I said.
See you soon