I HAVE a vision! I see the solution to Fleet's traffic problems.
We increase all the car park charges to £1 per minute. With the money, we convert Elvetham Bridge, Pondtail Bridge, Fleet Railway Bridge etc. to drawbridges. Where there are no bridges, we install a machine-gun post.
We allow all vehicles out, but let none of them back in. Problem solved. Elvetham Road will be converted into a museum, reflecting the bad old days. There! Doesn't my ingenuity take your breath away? Don't you think this gem of mine entitles me to the top job on the council, in charge of all vehicular movements?
Seriously, though… I see chicanity still rules Elvetham Road. The only three people I know who live there have said: "Nobody asked me." They all hate it… They all think it's stupid.
So I seriously suggest that the mindless idiots who are responsible for such a gormless idea should be make to remove the chicanes at their own expense, and then be run out of town. Let's have a vote. Hands up all who agree? Audrey Styles, Clarence Road, Fleet.
P.S. How many accidents have there been on this piece of road since the chicanes, compared with a similar period before? Are we waiting for a fatality? I would see that as manslaughter.